Big Idea: Forgiveness is not fair, it's given freely to us, so we need God's help to give it to others.

Bible Passage: Matthew 6:5-13, (focus on: verse 11.)

Parent Prep: Forgiveness for those who have hurt them is hard for children. It's hard for everyone, really, but especially for children, as they are primarily focused on what is 'fair'. Fairness and equal treatment are paramount for children. Yet, by its nature, forgiveness is not 'fair'. It's God's grace to us. It is undeserved and freely given. So it is unnatural for children (and all our human natures) to want to extend grace and the 'unfairness' of mercy to others. This is why, as we teach about forgiveness, we need to acknowledge that in order to forgive those who have truly sinned against us and hurt us, we need God's help, because we can't do it in our own strength. When children acknowledge it is 'too hard' for them, or say that they 'don't want to' forgive others, remind them that really, none of us can truly forgive in our own human strength, because it doesn't feel fair. This is the grace of our God! That while we were still sinners, with our backs turned to Him, that He forgave us. This shifts our parenting focus from expecting a behavioural outcome, to helping them understand the depth of God's love and mercy for them. Then we wait on the Holy Spirit to bring about willing, heart-felt forgiveness in the hearts of our kids. Pray for them, that they would know and understand how much they have been forgiven, in order to help them learn to forgive others.

Read Matthew 6:5-13 together in your Bibles, or read it in a children's version here, or watch it together here.

Talk 

Explain to children that today we will be learning about forgiveness. 

Read the following three verses together:

  • Romans 5:8 (ERV) 8 But Christ died for us while we were still sinners, and by this God showed how much he loves us.

  • Ephesians 1:7 (ERV) 7 In Christ we are made free by his blood sacrifice. We have forgiveness of sins because of God’s rich grace.

  • Psalm 103:12 (ERV) 12 And he has taken our sins as far away from us as the east is from the west.

​​​​​​Explain to children that God has looked at us, his children who have turned away from Him and chosen to be the boss of our own lives, and has chosen, by His grace, to make a way to forgive us so we can come back to Him. He is a loving Father. It is up to us to turn back to Him and ask for His forgiveness for our sins. He is faithful, and always says yes to that prayer. Talk with children about sins they think may be 'unforgiveable'. Reassure children that there is nothing they can do that will take God's forgiveness away from them if they trust Him and turn to Him. 

Read together: 1 John 1:9 (ERV) 9 But if we confess our sins, God will forgive us. We can trust God to do this. He always does what is right. He will make us clean from all the wrong things we have done.

He promises to forgive us when we come to Him. That is a promise, and God never breaks His promises.

Listen

Ask children, how does it feel when someone does something to hurt you? Ask children to share their feelings, their stories and examples. Ask children if it is hard or easy to forgive someone who hurts you. Make a point of noting that the deeper the hurt, the harder it is to forgive. 

Ask children what they think 'forgiveness' means. Explain to children that forgiveness is not forgetting about the hurt someone caused; it's letting go of anger and our want to 'get them back'. Ask children, "If I dropped something heavy on your finger and it hurt you, and I said sorry, would it make your finger stop hurting?" No, it wouldn't. Forgiveness means even though it still hurts, we let go of our anger and wanting to get someone back for what they did. We do this because it's what God has done for us. Our sin has hurt God, and even though His heart hurts when we turn from Him, He's not angry with us. He doesn't 'get us back' the way we deserve for our sin, instead, He opens His arms and says, "I love you, come to me." This is a very hard thing to do. Forgiveness isn't fair. It means even when we're hurting, we choose to be loving. Even when we're angry, we choose to let go of wanting to get people back. It's open hands instead of clenched fists. This is why we need God's help. He's the best at it, He always has His arms open to us. And He will show us how by reminding us of His great love.

Do

Read together: Colossians 1:13-14 (ERV)13 God made us free from the power of darkness. And he brought us into the kingdom of his dear Son. 14 The Son paid the price to make us free. In him we have forgiveness of our sins.

Write up on a poster: "Forgiveness isn't Fair. It's Freely-given." Stick it somewhere on a wall where everyone in your family will see it. At night time, stand in the room where your poster is, and turn off all the lights. Then, shine a bright torch or light on the poster, and read out the words. Explain to children, when we choose to forgive others, we bring the light of Jesus to others living in darkness. This is a powerful way to show the great love of God to others.

As you pray together, start with clenched fists. Explain that the closed fists are like our angry hearts when we are hurt by others. Forgiveness is opening our fists and letting go of our anger and giving it to Jesus. Practice this with your children as you pray forgiveness for others. Open your clenched fists and then raise your open hands to Jesus as a sign of letting go of being angry and giving it to Jesus. Then ask that God's Holy Spirit would be close and remind us of God's great love and forgiveness for us. Ask for His help to show this great love and forgiveness to others, knowing we cannot do it on our own. 

Have a great week!

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